Sunday, December 8, 2013

Always.....Silence. Speaks in volumes!

I don't want to cry, and you can't make me.
Your silent actions, use my words and thrown them at me.
Hurt me with so many things, and ways, and not a word needed be spoken.
You can't keep blaming an adult for what they did as a child. Can't you see they aren't the same?
I've been hurt by many, suffered enough karma to teach me many lessons.
And still, I put no blame on anyone, only on circumstance.
The part of me that believes you still care, I don't trust it anymore, because of your "WORDS".
My heart, soul, mind and body, need peace, needs for others to hear them crying for mercy.
Situations arise for some, when just children, and those are the times in life, one does not have a choice.
Rape, sexual abuse, psychical abuse, mental abuse... emotional abuse, verbal abuse, abuse caused by rumors.
Do you know what it's like to be called ugly as a small child?
Do you know what it feels like to be bullied in any way?
Do you know what it feels like to be called a joke by your partner?
Do you?

Do you know what it's like to be called so ugly that you're told that you should wear a bag on your head?
Do you know what it's like when those bullies get all their friends to gang up on you all at once and you're standing all alone and no one speaks up?

I've let these things go, they don't bother me anymore, but when someone says I don't know suffering, nor pain, nor love. What do you think runs through my head? I stay silent in those moments, because they don't know me at all!
There are people I wish I could forget, but I'd want them to forget me to, so that they couldn't bother me, as a person who doesn't remember or know them because the memory isn't there...so as if strangers. Just not to hurt nor bothered.

I've helped many people in this life time, without them ever knowing me personally, without them ever seeing me. Strangers. And maybe I saved some lives along the way, but I don't tell anyone, because I did it for them, and the part of me that knows I've helped in someway, is good enough. I don't brag about my good deeds, because I didn't do it to be noticed, I'd like not to be noticed.

Do you know what it's like to suffer after praying for others? Do you know such a pain? A misery that appears after I pray, pray good for others. I wonder if any have prayed for me? I don't care if they did. I'd never ask.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Sounds and things

Blizzards are loud,
Once the winds pick up,
Rains can drowned,
When it doesn't let up,
Loud are the crowds,
When they don't get what they want,
At peace is a human,
When they are where most happy,
Why judge their fate,
Just because you think they're too late,
You can be silent with the eyes,
But you scream very loud from inside,
Steady is a motion,
Of a soul-mate's lustful desire for the other,
If you fall behind,
Open your eyes and pay mind,
For if you're not paying attention,
The mind might end up quiet and blind,
See things for what they are,
You're not the only one with scars,
You're not the only one who's lost,
Broken hearts are created out of loss,
My mind as well as my heart is screaming Mercy,
For You forget the times we've spent in private,
The words you spoke,
I no longer rely on simple texts,
No simple texts with words,
No they don't do anything but hurt,
I'd rather a call,
A meeting elsewhere,
Because trust has been broken,
And I don't want a single touch,
Not a single embrace to ruin,
A true verbal connection,
THE TRUTH is what I want,
Texts are just words on screen,
And I want that no more.
These are the sounds and things that keep me from fully feeling at peace.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

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